today, i feel like grad school isn't right for me. all the bureaucracy, all the bullshit, people speaking in code. that's not what i want. i just want to carve out my own little world of peace and happiness and love. every time i get close to "re-entering society," i have so much anxiety and that quickly turns into depression and a catatonic-like paralysis. i'm so tired of this cycle. i make myself sick with it.i need to stop thinking about the big picture and just focus on the day in front of me. it's disgusting outside, so what can i do inside that's healthy for me? maybe some yoga. maybe play some ping pong. blogging is a good start. finish reading dewey. go for a run on the treadmill. take a hot bath. play rock band with s.
but i just want to crawl back into bed and pull the covers up over me and try to make the anxiety go away.
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1 comment:
please don't be so hard on yourself. when the space shuttle misses its re-entry point due to lack of favorable circumstances (aka shitty conditions), it just picks another re-entry point. you can do the same too; any where you like in fact. i am here to help if i can.
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